God has whispered verses and given me thoughts to ponder on for months in regards to love and what it truly means to seek and give that from above. Both my mind and my heart have been in desperate need for a makeover, and I want to share with you all why I'm choosing to say goodbye to social media and things that keep my eyes grounded on this world.Around Easter my church spoke on 3 fears that all people innately have: the fear of rejection, the fear of inadequacy, and the fear of death. These fears manifest themselves in different ways for different people. They have certainly taken on different shapes throughout my life, but they have all caused very negative things to sprout in my life: protecting myself no matter the cost, putting on a fake smile or mask for people, labeling myself and others, loss of hope, pride in self, obsession with pleasing others, anxiousness, and jealousy. I was able to hide from people but never from God. He saw the worry I caused myself by focusing on this world instead of on him.
God told us, "It is finished. There is no fear in love. Perfect love casts out fear." If we fear, we haven't discovered this wonderful love he speaks of. No one on this earth can love us perfectly- it is only available through the cross. When I depend on my friends, my family, or my fiancé for my happiness, I am surely to be disappointed. Because like myself, these people are sinful and have feelings and circumstances that control them.
I always felt inadequate. Are my clothes representative of the season and the latest fashion? Will my food taste as good as the recipe I copied off Pinterest? Is my house decorated as nicely as hers? Do my prayers sound as lovely as my community group leaders? Do I love as hard as him? Can I teach my students as well as she can? Are my talents of as much worth as theirs? I sought for so long for other people to validate me, and I was setting us all up for failure.
John 14:27 says, "Peace I leave with you, my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and afraid."
Through my various circumstances, I have learned to be content with Christ. The verdict has already been announced- PEACE! You get a gift up front with this relationship, and I get to live out of it regardless of what I may face here. The end of the story is finished. I am just living out the middle of it. As a result, we need to put ALL thought to our forever NOT to our earthly, short life. Our life here is merely a chapter within our life book.
This, my friends, is my biggest conviction and my greatest struggle. I put so much thought into what I'm going to wear, what pictures I'm going to put on Facebook, what Pinterest craft I'm going to make, and what clothes my extra money from this check is going to buy. This is not love from above. This is love of this earth. I have stored up treasures for far too long here- here in this fleeting place where I will barely be spending any of my time. I have forgotten to let God be my provider. I have not put full trust in his ability to support me.It has been my sincere prayer that Jesus would break my heart for what breaks his. Matthew 6 was meant to convict me and teach me to get love and give love from above in different ways than I understood before.
Matthew 6:22-24 "The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are good, your whole body will be full of light. But if your eyes are bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light within you is darkness, how great is that darkness! No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other."
We lose our eyes when we look towards the wrong things. My eyes don't need to spend time looking and longing for things of this world. My eyes could do without seeing unrealistic marketing of girls and guys plastered all over the Internet. My eyes could benefit from skipping the terrible scenes in movies. My eyes don't need the visuals and images about whomever is ruling the media lately in a non Christian way. My eyes need to look to the unseen. My eyes need to look above. This will help all my anxiety to flee!
God whispered to me and asked where my heart was. He told me the answer is where I spend most of my time. Because I had to answer truthfully, with shopping, friends, relationships on this earth, wedding planning, Pinterest, Facebook, lesson planning, making products for my teaching store, etc. I knew I was breaking his heart, and I prayed that he would break mine, too.
I don't think that any of these things are sinful in and of themselves. I do think that where your heart is your time is, too. I want to spend more of my time with Jesus and in turn fill up more of my heart with him. What if I added up all the time spent on Facebook, spent shopping or browsing online, spent Pinteresting my dream life, and spent creating teaching resources to make more money? I would have A LOT more time to spend with our God. I know this would make his heart happier and mine too.
Matthew 6:25 "Therefore, I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink, or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air, they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?"
God has given us so many beautiful things in this world to look at. Why do we need to create our own things to satisfy so often? The birds, the trees, the blooming flowers, and the rushing waters.... There is so much symmetry between this beauty and God. It is evidence of his sovereignty, his love, and his power. I am the biggest over analyzer/worrier on the planet. I am sure of it. I worry about how I phrase words, if I upset people, if I do enough, if I spend money on the right things, if my dress makes me look good, etc. As a woman in this society, we are given images of what we should be and how we should act. Friends, we are called to live and love from above. Our lipstick, dresses, and jokes don't matter. We are so much more, and our minds should be on so much more. This is not our story. We are blessed enough to take part in someone bigger's story.
My pastor left us with great words this morning: "We need not worry. The Spirit is within us. We don't need to be soldiers. We just need to walk forward."
I want to walk forward and look above. My heart has been stuck in this world for too long. I am ready to let go of what doesn't matter and look to God.
1 Corinthians 10:31 "So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God."
Do I think social media is sinful? Not necessarily.
Do I think social media is keeping my eyes on things from above? Absolutely not.
Does my use of social media glorify God? Most of the time, no.
For these reasons, I am saying goodbye to social media, at least for a while until I can find a way to change those answers and use them to glorify God instead of myself.
Instead of pinning my dream wedding or trying to impress with my latest travel adventure, I will be reading the word and spending time seeking his face. Let's make it all about him! :)
Much Love From Above,
Kristin
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